this is for some bright mind out there

what am I supposed to think about this? am I right to be afraid of what's about to come? am I on my right to think what I want about his thoughts? misconcepts are always around us, but I just don't feel like talking about it, just think and think already gets me really upset. sometimes I wanted to forget about the threats that insists to come from everywhere, maybe I'm just paranoid and nothing goes away until I decide to put them away.

maybe I should get real with me, and open my eyes to see that it's just delusions and fantasies of my mind what I want it to be, and what I want it to be probrably will never be, so why try? why not just let the river go with the flow? ok, I'm anxious to see what happens next, so I can't just sit here and watch it, I'll be REALLY upset if something I don't want happens with this whole thing, ok, I have my friends, I guess, the real ones, who'll be there for me, to party and forget about this, I wish I didn't need all this thrilling.

but the fanniest thing ever is that I can't be mad with him, that's good, I get mad with myself, what seems to be a step ahead, I can see that the fault is all mine, or maybe I'm criticizing myself too much. god, kill me. I don't know what more I'm supposed to think.